(Yannis Red Book) Note Entry 31: The Gods must be Crazy
Sanity is knowing, and I know what truly is, above all life, all magic and science old and new, above all odds and wills of gods known to these lands both many and few. I have seen the true face of our creators, and I am afraid. Not at their majesty or power they command, but the childishness and carelessness of which they wield it.
Sanity is knowing, Insanity is bliss
Who sentenced him to this prison of life And threw away the key? Who gave a pair of eyes to a man who cannot see? A man dazzled by darkness. A man who listens to laughter and cries.
He sits next to the genius, playing with invisible cards, And it's no use watching his eyes. He speaks the language of silence. Silence, an unexploded bomb in his head.
And love's tear runs down the face of confusion, Paying debt to emotion felt. Drowning man, dreams through the day and sleeps through his thoughts. Then he is dragged from the river of unconsciousness, To rest on the banks of loneliness and pain, When will he awake from this nightmare called life,
(Yannis Red Book) Note Entry 32: I Dream of Yodelling Chickens
Electric sheep are bad enough, now I dream of yodelling chickens. Having to wake up in a cold sweet every time is most uncomfortable and exhausting for my mind and body. I'm finding my eating and sleeping habits are getting worse, this is most concerning, I need to be able to make decisions and actions that are not half thought. My mind cant rest in this state, I have too much going on, too much to take in. I feel what little control and composure I have will soon evaporate. This is the true weapon and devastation of a revenant... the waiting.
(Yannis Red Book) Note Entry 33: The Thirty-Second Rule
I knew that this would eventually happen... given enough time, Z would eventually get some alone time with Isabel. I'm not all to certain that Isabel swings that way.. well at least not before hand. while I was in a rush to prepare for incoming certain death, I barged in on the both of them during a .... very climatic finish. In that moment, I felt a strange sensation... ok that one too, but I'm referring to my mind having a small moment of ease from my stresses.
Something about seeing 2 of my closest female companions in that state was enough to knock me into my senses briefly... curious. The both of them seemed to really enjoy it that they teased that they would try doing that again... of cause as luck would have it, Rooroo was just behind me and asked what they where doing. Z may have managed to convince Rooroo into trying this method of "stress relief"...
The time comes. Dread betraying my senses to look beyond into the tree line. Waiting and listening, watching closely. Rooroo tries to push me back behind her, but I cannot let her stand against my mistake alone. I feel the pressure bearing down on me hard, my feet are about to give out from the increase of gravity. Its hard to breath in this mask, but if I take it off, everyone would see the fear that is my face. I don't want to be here, but I have no choice... if not now, soon after... and I'll have no means of courage and will to fight.
My skin is crawling, I can see it approach. I cant move! My mind is racing telling me to RUN! SHOOT! SCREAM! DO SOMETHING! We lock eyes, I can see them glowing back into me. My hand reaches for a flare to signal for Isabel to fire the ships main gun. Just as I pull the flare out of its sleave, the revenant dashes blindingly up to me and begins to hold me up and choke me. I CANT BREATH! but I still have the flair... SHIT! I forgot to change out the ammo!
I can hardly remember the rest, it was too fast and yet, it felt like a lifetimes worth of fighting, hurting, fear. There was no way of surviving this on my own, my tricks and tools did nothing. Seeing my companions injured like that... seeing Aly... like that--- My mind immediately snapped back to the Thursday war. Leftenant Kredovica on the field! Once again I took command of my squad and started making the right choices in the thick of it. I'm not letting Aly suffer this.
I had a minor suspicion, but nothing that tipped me off fully. I initially assumed that Rooroo was a sub bread of animal/human highbred like Z. I was quite impressed at how fast she gained and retained information, much faster than anything or anyone I know of. As I had found out not long ago, it seems Lucian is Alys' farther... though I then thought that Rooroo was the result of werewolf/human breeding.
Later while getting to know her more, I found out that she has had several other companions like myself. All have taught her how to speak from scratch. This threw off my estimate on her age (she insist that she is seven years old)... but several other companions, forgetting a language multiple times? This gave me pause for quite a while. Either they had very short life spans or she is Way older then I estimated.
Then finally I saw it, the true form of a Cu-sith, while in combat with my revenant. large, blue and fierce, just as the legends tell. It was apparent that she was very concerned for my safety... more than her own. I am not sure what happens, or even how a Cu-sith imprints on a master... but if I had to guess, I'd say that I am the closest to that. I am her "Person" as she claims.
I must have a horse shoe far up my ass or something... cause this kind of luck ~ I bet they have something to do with it.
(Yannis Red Book) Note Entry 36: Sanity's' Serenity
Not sure what it was exactly, could have been the combination of all of them... finally making headway with curing Lucians condition, the shock of seeing Aly in a devastated way, having finally beaten the revenant, or even seeing two of my cute girls getting it on... aside from a few flashes of what just happened, I can feel my sanity returning. stress is no longer crippling my abilities to think and act. I can finally sleep